Perfectionism that it is okay not to be perfect,

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Perfectionism

Arlinda Cera

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Business informatics department

ENG109

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

AbstractWe live in a time when perfection is valued most, and this makes us believe that by doing things in a perfect way we can achieve happiness and success. Even though, there is a strong connection between perfectionism and depression. The purpose of this research is to survey the “perfectionism” phenomenon nowadays. How this phenomenon has impacted our life. We will see that perfectionism might also be genetic. This research may help you understand that it

is okay not to be perfect, and it is okay to make mistakes.

 

Introduction

“Perfectionism is a trait that causes us to find comfort in order.” In the moment that it is

overused as a way of dealing with stress and anxiety, it may have consequences. The need to

“get it right” leads the perfectionists in being conflictual with relationships, not only with others

but also with their self.  They usually tend to hide who they really are, because they are afraid

that in a specific moment may look irrational or incapable.

We are all aware that perfectionism is being promoted every day, everywhere starting from

 advertisements, magazines, social media and also by our own parents. The idea of having the

perfect body or the perfect clothes is inevitable. Of course, these high standards make us feel

 completed and it is not wrong to aim for the excellence in life. Perfectionism has very good

aspects because many achievements have come from perfectionists.  But the aim of my report

is to focus on the negative sides of perfectionism, not because I don’t value perfectionism, but

because I see it having a destructive effect in people’s lives.

The main problem is when a person’s self worth depends on the need to reach those high standards.

And this leads on to all sorts of other psychopathology of extreme anxiety states, depression, phobias,

and so on.

 

 

Fears

All or nothing, black or white thinking.

People think that they must do everything right or not at all. So, it is nothing in the middle. You

may become a great success or a huge failure.

An intolerance of ambiguity.

This is a problem of living in tension or in balance with the two sides of life, success and failure.

The perfectionist will often feel entirely  responsible for something or reject all responsibility

completely.

The shoulds and oughts in life

The perfectionists are especially driven by guilt and shame produced by a critical parent looking over a

shoulder, the concern about what others will think, or what we think our parents will think of what we

are doing.

Procrastination and  indecision

Paul Tillich in his book, ‘The Courage to Be’ puts it this way “there is an anxiety of becoming guilty, the

horror of feeling condemned”.

Fear of rejection.

Perfectionists people  expect a lot of themselves and others . So, they are evidently upset. Here comes the criticism.  The devastating  need is to keep things under

control.

Making comparisons with others

Comparing yourself to those who seem “better than me”  is a dangerous habit.

Lack of support combined with a desire to isolate

 Perfectionists are afraid of being found out as hypocrites.  Criticism is expected and they do anything to avoid it.

Keeping secrets about fears and mistakes

The person I appear to be and who I really am have nothing in common.

 

Can perfectionism lead to suicide?

Perfectionism is related to suicide. According to the World Health Organization suicides take a lifetime

every 45 seconds . A new study has discovered that personality components play an active role that leads

to suicide.

Some interviews made by researchers at Western Ontario University to the relatives of people who

decided to commit suicide resulted that 56% of people “a perceived external pressure to be perfect.”

 

How does the perfectionism impact in work?

Perfectionism also causes problems at work, making them obsessed to push things until it’s too late. This

is because these people do not even accept to seek help, as they call it their weaknesses. Thus, scholars

say that to a certain extent, perfectionism is healthy, but overcoming causes a lot of damage, especially

for health.

 

Discussion

How does perfectionism develop? Why do some people become perfectionists? And why some people are

never happy with the benefits that are not very perfect. Perfectionism is a killer personality trait. It can not

only ruin self-confidence over time, but it can also result in depression, life-longing, and even may lead to

suicidal thoughts. In order to know how to fight perfectionism, you must first know how perfectionism

develops. What causes the development of perfectionism? People develop personality traits that allow

them to achieve certain goals they develop early in their lives as a result of past experiences. For example,

if a child believes inferior for one reason or another, then all the features of his personality would work

toward the goal of achieving superiority. Perfectionism develops as a result of feelings of inferiority or of

being less good than others. When a child experiences these feelings, he develops perfectionism in order

to maintain a sense of superiority over his companions and his environment. The other purpose that the

development of perfectionism helps the child to achieve is to conceal his defects from others. Above all if

he does everything perfectly, then no one will dig back to the wall of his perfectionism to point out the

defects. How can perfectionism destroy your life? Perfectionists feel less confident with any task they do

because they believe that even if they do it perfectly they will not become worthy people. Because we do

 not live in a perfect world, people who develop perfectionism are faced with constant frustrations that

ruin their humor and their lives. If you have developed perfectionism then do not worry: there is a healing

cure. In order to step away from perfectionism you must develop your self-confidence, accept your

inferiority feelings, and arrange your beliefs about life, understanding that perfection is not always

necessary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 
 
Works Cited
Bell, E. (2017, September 26). Perfectionism. Retrieved from http://bellcad.net/?page_id=61

Winter, R.(2008,May 5). Perfectionism The Road to Heaven – or Hell?. Retrieved from http://www.labri.org/england/resources/05052008/RW01_Perfectionism.pdf